Faded Hope
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: "Would you just listen then?" Grey eyes looked hopeful, their hope fading at the look he was once again cast.


**Camp Potter II [History Appreciation, Week III]**

**Faded Hope  
**

Brown eyes glared over a pile of books, meeting a reluctant grey every couple of minutes, causing his glare to momentarily heat up further.

"Why don't you just leave me alone? You've been here for the last half hour, shifting from foot to foot. It's annoying."

He was trying to study, and the constant movement to his right was doing nothing for his concentration. He had been reading the same line for the last ten minutes because his eyes kept flickering towards the source of the movement. It was distracting to say the least.

"Would you just listen then?" Grey eyes looked hopeful, their hope fading at the look he was once again cast.

"No. There's nothing for you to say. Now _go away_."

"No, you have to listen to me!"

Usually he found Regulus' stubbornness endearing, but right now it was beginning to annoy him. How could Regulus even think to explain why he had been teased and junxed my Regulus' group of Slytherin friends without Regulus doing anything but watch him trying to defend himself, silently.

It had hurt. He had believed that he had actually meant something to Regulus, but it didn't matter. He had his books. They were the only things he had ever had, the only things that would not shun him in times of need.

His father had never cared for him, not wanting to ruin his reputation in the Ministry in any way. He couldn't afford to be seen as soft while he was busy hunting Dark witches and wizards, now could he? He often wondered why his father had even had him, He obviously did not care, nor seem to even want him in any way.

His mother had only been marginally better. She had been kind and had tried to take care of him whenever possible, but she had always bowed down to his father's wishes. She never seemed to have a strong enough will of her own, but he could always see that she tried, and more often than not, that was enough. He knew that she would do anything in her power to take care of him as much as she could, and he loved her dearly for it, but it had never been enough.

He had been lonely. He had been isolated. He had been left to his own devices in a house that was far too large for a single child to be wandering around alone in.

He had forcibly taught himself to deal with the opressing silence and loneliness. He had tried in the beginning to get a pet to keep him company. His father had gotten rid of the little puppy he had found, saying it was filthy and he would most likely get sick from coming into contact with the animal too often. He had tried toys next, but there was only so much you could do on your own.

He had been five when he had opened his first book. That had been the first day he had managed to forget time and everything that was happening around him. He had opened the book in the morning and only closed it when the sun had been lying low in the sky, ready to rest for the night. He had been amazed at that, but he realized that he didn't really need people to keep him company after that.

He had never searched for friends. He had never gone out of his way to meet new people who would possibly enjoy his company, and he theirs.

Regulus had been the first person he would have considered a friend, before today. Before Regulus had chosen his other friends over him, but that didn't matter. His father had always chosen the Ministry over him, and his mother had always chosen his father over him. It didn't matter. He was used to it. He would never be anyone's first choice, and he had come to accept that like he had with everything else in his life.

"Barty, please! I should have done something. I'm sorry."

Regulus could be as sorry as he wanted but it didn't matter. Not any more. He had learned from that mistake, and he wouldn't be making a mistake like that again any time soon.

He didn't need Regulus, just like he didn't need anyone else. He never had. He only needed his books. He only needed what he could rely on.

He gathered his books and left, not looking back once.

There was no need to regret something he had perhaps known would happen from the very beginning.

It was a pity really. He had been hoping this time would be different.


End file.
